


Your Love Is Enough

by Nerd_of_Camelot



Series: Commissions [1]
Category: Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Bones, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Life Changing Event, Major Character Injury, Paralysis, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 22:31:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_of_Camelot/pseuds/Nerd_of_Camelot
Summary: When Starfire is paralyzed in an accident outside of combat, she tries her best to stay positive… But it’s not easy, and predictably there are several hiccups on the road to recovery. It falls to her girlfriend, Raven, to help her regain herself and heal.





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wombatking](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=wombatking).



> Hello, and welcome to "Your Love Is Enough," a commissioned fic from my Fusion-Ego tumblr. I'm really excited to be writing this. Thank you to Wombatking for commissioning me! I look forward to how this will play out.

The Teen Titans had been a team for what felt, to them, a lot like forever. They’d met so long ago they almost couldn’t remember ever not knowing each other, and in that time they’d grown close. Very close. They were closer than most blood relatives could ever hope to be. They were an ever-changing and yet ever-the-same adoptive family of misfits born from strife and forged in flame, and all of them were quite proud of the fact. They trusted each other without question after facing so many trials and tribulations together, after having their bonds tested time and time again only to find their loyalties nearly always lay with each other.

Given the overall closeness of the group and the nigh-unbreakable bond of trust they all shared after knowing each other for as long as they had, it’s predictable that some members of the group saw others in a… More than friendly way. Crushes among groups of friends are common, after all. True and totally realized romantic love is a _tad_ more rare―but it’s often said that the strongest of romantic relationships are born of a close friendship. For all intents and purposes each and every one of them had proven themselves to be a trusted and worthy partner to each other member, though at times some pairs would butt heads over small things.

And what is a romantic relationship if not a partnership? And what would a relationship be if the two of whom it consisted didn’t occasionally see things differently and clash over it? Argument isn’t always a bad thing. At times it’s the only way some things can be discussed―even if those things may not see much _real_ discussion until the argument is over.

All of that said, some dating between the team members was nearly inevitable. They already had the necessary interpersonal skills with one another to at least _start_ a relationship, after all. And, with all things considered, it should be fairly obvious that it didn’t come as much of a surprise to much of anyone at all when Starfire and Raven finally moved past awkward flirting late one spring and admitted their feelings to one another. It came as even less of a surprise that they felt the same for each other and began dating right away.

There was, naturally, some backlash, but a few well-spoken words from Robin and well-aimed death glares from Raven promptly silenced the critics. And that’s not even accounting for the several _thousand_ supporters who would have literally fought for them had the need arisen.

Thankfully, it never did.

Nothing much changed among the team after the girls entered into their relationship―there was no bitterness or jealousy from the other members, no decrease in the respect they all had for each other, and no real indication that any of them were uncomfortable with the union. In fact, they boys were all wholly and openly supportive of it, much to Raven’s relief and Starfire’s eternal delight.

Really, the only thing that changed was that Raven and Starfire holding hands took on a new meaning… And seeing the two of them shyly intertwine their fingers, cheeks almost glowing with an embarrassed and excited flush before one of them, most commonly Starfire, leaned closer to the other and pressed a quick kiss to her lips or cheek became incredibly common both inside the tower and out.

Their dynamics in battle didn’t see much change, either, although they did appear to be a tad more protective of each other than they were before. A keen eye could see, as well, that they tended to stay closer to each other on missions, and that their eyes constantly strafed from their surroundings to each other. They were always looking out for each other now. Always.

This extended, somewhat surprisingly, even to them now sharing a bedroom―although the other Titans didn’t yet know about that part. Raven simply didn’t want to deal with Beast Boy and Cyborg’s immature and perverted theories on _why_ they shared a bedroom, and Starfire was happy to keep it hush hush to keep Raven from having to fight with them about it. Feasibly, they could have told Robin, of course, because Robin was typically the most reasonable member of the team, but… No. If they weren’t yet telling Beast Boy or Cyborg, they weren’t telling Robin either.

It was only fair.

And that they shared a bedroom didn’t necessarily mean that they shared a bed, as they often didn’t for a variety of reasons. Raven spent most nights studying her tomes in a specially prepared section of the room until she inevitably fell asleep leaned against one of the bookcases. Bad for her back? Certainly. But would she stop? Unlikely.

Starfire, for her part, spent most nights actually _in_ bed, though most often she laid awake at night quietly talking to Raven across the room until she drifted off to sleep. Sometimes Raven talked her to sleep. Sometimes she talked Raven to sleep without realizing it. Sometimes, although it was rare and had only happened twice so far, Raven sang her to sleep with an Azarathian lullaby.

Those were Starfire’s favorites. She’d never slept so well in her life, to be entirely honest. But the same could be said for simply sleeping in the same room as Raven―it granted her an unrivaled sensation of peace and allowed her to rest very deeply. And, though Raven never mentioned it, Starfire’s very presence in the room had much the same affect on her.

On the few occasions they _did_ share a bed, it was with no shortage of blushing and quiet giggles as they got situated. They usually ended up facing each other, legs intertwined and arms wrapped around each other. Raven tucked her face into the crook of Star’s neck and Star happily buried hers into Raven’s violet tresses. It was… Far more comfortable than either of them ever anticipated it being.

But that was all they did. Their relationship was still fresh, and neither of them was interested in taking things any further for the time being―or ever, for that matter. They knew they may change their minds and hit the next few bases at some point in their relationship, of course, but for now… For now just cuddling was more than enough. They were happy sticking to kisses that didn’t even qualify as first base, thanks.

* * *

Raven and Starfire’s relationship was still relatively new when BB suggested, one hot summer day, that they all go on an outing to the beach. They were still blushing just at holding hands, and turning into glowing balls of embarrassment at kissing each other… And Starfire still very much wanted to impress her girlfriend whenever she could.

The group spent a good hour after they first arrived just splashing around and basking in the contrast between the lukewarm water and the sweltering air. Even Raven chose to abandon her cloak and get some sun, though she spent a good deal of her time in the water carefully levitating orbs of it over BB’s head while he was distracted and promptly allowing the bubble to burst and soak him with water that had cooled considerably under her influence. This tactic got several undignified shrieks from BB and several laughs from all of his friends, much to his consternation.

Starfire’s laughter was, of course, only rivalled in volume by Cyborg’s enormous, booming chuckle. And, though Robin may have been the only one who noticed, Raven’s laughter was less amusement in response to her own prank and more a knee-jerk reaction in response to Starfire pulling her into a tight hug and twirling her around as she told her what a good joke it was the first time. And after that, her laughter was clearly more a response to Starfire’s.

Robin could see the unbridled adoration in her eyes.

And, as if she knew that, she cast him a smile… And dropped the next bubble of water on him, causing him to very nearly jump right out of the water with a shout of surprise. He frowned, though only slightly, before giving in and smiling, sending Raven a wink and a thumbs up while the others weren’t looking. She returned the gesture before turning her gaze back to her girlfriend.

Starfire, herself, was now making her way out deeper in the water, stretching her arms above her head as she went. Raven admired the way her hair fanned out behind her like a cape once she reached a depth that forced her to swim rather than walk. And, secretly, she may have also admired the way that Star’s swimsuit clung to her body―but she’d never admit to that. Not without a fight.

“Hey, Rae,” BB called, currently in the form of a dolphin, “Can you judge me and Star’s race?”

Lips twisting into a new, more subtle smile, she tore her gaze from her girlfriend and lifted her brows. “Why can’t Robin do it? He’d be a more neutral party.”

“You’re always the best judge!” BB explained, “And I trust you not to give the win to Star just ‘cuz she’s your girlfriend.”

“Even though I am going to win anyway, friend.” Star teased.

BB whistled and chirped in a way Raven presumed was meant to be derisive. It was followed by a short rant about how he was a _dolphin,_ and how dolphins were ‘like the cheetahs of aquatic mammals’―classic Beast Boy.

Star just giggled her way through the entire rant, knowing full well she’d distracted him from his original point. Thankfully, he eventually caught on and stopped.

“You sly dog,” He said, wagging a fin at her, “You had me monologuing.”

Ignoring him past giving him a wink, she turned to Raven, “So will you be our judge, love?”

Smiling affectionately, Raven agreed without further argument.

Star, for her part, always being eager to impress her girlfriend, spent much of her time in the water doing tricks: underwater backflips, races against BB as various aquatic mammals, carrying her around on her back―anything of the sort that she could do to get Raven’s attention. Anything that could make Raven cheer for her or laugh. Especially things that could make Raven laugh. She _loved_ to hear Raven laugh.

After a while, she had an idea. A _wonderful_ idea. A trick that would likely get a lot of cheering from Raven, if not from the others as well. But there was one issue: where to do it.

She eyed the nearby cliffs with a rather critical eye, trying to identify if she could actually pull off the trick. Were there any cliffs high enough? Were there any far enough out she could avoid hitting another on her way down?

Finally, she spotted one just perfect high enough for her trick.

So, leaving the water for a moment with an excited, “Raven, love, watch!” she flew up to the cliff she’d identified. After a quick glance to be sure that Raven was, indeed, watching her, she thought briefly about what, exactly, she should do. In the end she decided that something that looked simple, but pretty, would have the best results the first time. She had to leave room for improvement, after all.

She backed up a bit, got a running start, and dived gracefully off of the rocks. By her own estimate, she pulled off a _beautiful_ swan dive. She sailed down through the air with a wide grin, closing her eyes tight in preparation of impact with the water, bringing her hands up above her head to break the surface. Warm water splashed up onto her face, coated her wind-chilled arms, and then her head was submerged, followed by the rest of her body. By all accounts the dive went off without a hitch, and by the cheering she heard from the others before her head went under Raven and the others had _very_ much liked the trick.

She didn’t have a whole lot of time to dwell on it, however.

Less than a full second after her body was fully beneath the water, she felt _pain_ as she hit something hard, head snapping back.

For a moment, she guessed she lost consciousness. Everything went numb. She blinked her eyes open and stared down at the bottom, just inches from her face. But the water had looked so much deeper than this… How did this happen? _Why_ did this happen? Ultimately she had no answers and knew she likely never would. No point lingering on it for now.

Feeling fairly fed up with staring at the bottom of the unexpectedly shallow water, she puffed out a small breath and prepared to turn over and swim the short distance back to the surface…

Only to find she couldn’t.

Her arms wouldn’t move. Her _legs_ wouldn’t move. _Nothing_ would move except her eyes and mouth. She managed to turn her head slightly, but it didn’t help―it just made her panic because absolutely nothing below her shoulders would respond to her commands. It took all the willpower she had to not start hyperventilating on the spot; she was underwater, after all, and drowning on top of not being able to move her body was _highly_ undesirable. If she didn’t surface soon, one of her friends would come and get her, right? They’d notice she wasn’t coming up for air, right?

But what if they didn’t?

No. No thinking like that. They’d come get her.

… She just hoped they came _soon._

Suddenly, there were warm hands on her sides and a familiar pair of grey-skinned legs next to her.

Raven rolled her and lifted her the short distance to the surface, and the first thing Starfire did was draw in a breath just this side of hysterical. Her eyes sought Raven’s out, and she wanted _so_ desperately to grab her hand, to wrap her arms around her neck, to just grab her and reassure herself that Raven was there. Raven’s own indigo eyes stared back at her.

“Star?” She questioned.

“I can’t move,” Star managed to gasp out, “Raven, I ca-” Her panic seemed to increase at having admitted it out loud, a gasp cutting her off mid-word, “I can’t _move!”_

There was nothing scarier than seeing the panic she felt light in her girlfriend’s eyes.

But _Raven_ could still move―she could get help. She could panic but she could at least get help. That was Starfire’s only comfort as she began to hyperventilate.

_“Robin!”_ Raven called, tone urgent and commanding, “Call an ambulance! _Now!”_

Star didn’t hear a single question or argument about it, just the somewhat distant sounds of Robin rushing out of the water. And then she heard Beast Boy and Cyborg worriedly asking what was wrong, what had happened, if she was okay, and if she wasn’t already hyperventilating she was sure she would have started crying. Their concern was… Incredibly touching. But it couldn’t touch her right now. It couldn’t overcome the panic racing through her veins. Raven called back to them that she wasn’t sure, but that she wanted them to go with Robin.

Star didn’t hear any arguments about that, either, which was curious, but… Also understandable. Robin had already listened without question―BB and Cyborg not listening that easily would lead to a fight that they simply didn’t have time for in an emergency. Additionally… Her girlfriend was terrifying when she was angry.

“Starfire,” Raven’s voice made her eyes snap back to her face, though she wasn’t sure when she’d looked away, _“Breathe,_ darling.”

She tried. She did. But it was _hard_ when she still couldn’t move and everything felt _wrong_ because of it.

“Koriand’r,” Raven cooed, voice more gentle and soothing than Starfire had ever heard it, “My sunshine, my stars… Relax. Breathe. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this.”

Focusing on her voice, Starfire tried to draw in a slow breath. Raven maintained eye contact with her, continued to speak gentle words of comfort and encouragement. But breathing wasn’t something she could focus on right now, as much as she wanted to. She kept getting herself under control only to remember that she _couldn’t move._

Her vision started going spotty around the same time she heard Robin yell that the ambulance was on its way.

Some time after that everything went black, and the last thing that she heard before completely losing consciousness was Raven calling her name. Dimly she felt bad for worrying her girlfriend so much. She felt bad for causing so much trouble for the sake of a stupid trick. But even under the blanket of unconsciousness she could feel that something was wrong. Something was _terribly_ wrong.

Despite Raven’s prior assurances to the contrary, Star could _feel_ how wrong things were.

And that was really all she felt for a long time.


	2. How To Change A Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one's short (especially considering how long it took me to write it) but I just couldn't stretch this chapter out any further. It just felt right to end it where I did and I couldn't find anywhere in the bulk of the chapter that I needed to flesh anything out/bulk anything up.  
> You gotta stop when stopping feels right, y'know?  
> Anyways, hope everyone enjoys the chapter, especially you _wombatking!_

In the back of an ambulance holding her girlfriend’s limp and clammy hand was… Definitely not on Raven’s list of places she expected to end up today.

In fact, it was a pretty big difference from any of the entries on that list. She’d planned for the beach, maybe a fast food place, and the tower, doing whatever she was going to do with Starfire at her side. She’d figured she’d be reading books for at least a small segment of the day, probably while snuggled up to Star as they’d been getting more and more comfortable with cuddling each other in recent weeks. Otherwise she’d planned for a little fun in the sun and eating something.

But she hadn’t prepared for this. She hadn’t prepared for this at all.

Still, she did her best not to be too rattled―when Starfire woke she’d need her to be calm. She’d need someone to be able to count on. Raven was going to be that person. That was all she really cared about. She wanted to be the one that Star could rely on when she woke up, and to do that she had to stay calm and collected. She couldn’t panic for a variety of reasons, aside, but that was the biggest one currently on the list.

Even the fear of her powers getting out of control played second fiddle to her sense of obligation to be there for her girlfriend.

“You’re astonishingly calm,” One of the EMTs told her, and there was just a bit of suspicion in their voice.

She couldn’t blame them―usually when someone was this calm while their significant other was injured, they had something to do with it. It was only logical to assume the same in this situation… But that didn’t mean it wasn’t irritating.

“Only on the outside.” Was what she chose to say instead of anything else, “I don’t want to scare her if she wakes up, so I’m just… Trying to stay calm for her.”

The suspicion abated only slightly, but the EMT nodded and seemed to accept the answer.

“That aside, believe me when I say that you really don’t want me panicking in the back of your ambulance. Or anywhere in your general vicinity.”

“Why is that?”

“Do you not realize who I am?” She raised a brow, “You obviously recognized Starfire.”

The EMT paled a bit.

“Oh.” Was all they said after that.

It would have been amusing if she wasn’t already stuffing so many of her emotions into a sack somewhere in the back of her mind to keep from slipping up. As it was she just hummed in reply and returned her gaze to Starfire.

Star didn’t so much as stir.

* * *

 

Raven was freezing by the time she was allowed into Starfire’s room at the hospital, hair stringy and only just now drying out. She’d give anything for her cloak, but she had to wait for that.

Robin was heading to the tower to grab her some clothes right now, though, so it wouldn’t take much longer.

For the time being, she sat herself in the chair next to Star’s bed, crossing her arms over her stomach and shuddering at the feeling of the cold plastic under her bare thighs. If not for her usual outfit consisting of a bodysuit very similar to the bathing suit she had on right now, she wouldn’t even be here, honestly. She’d have gone back to the Tower to get clothes herself. She hated being so exposed, but…

But, well, here she was, sitting in a hospital room in a blue one-piece bathing suit with freaking _spaghetti straps_ and an open back and a pair flip flops. Nothing else. Just the suit and the shoes. And the air conditioner in here was turned _all_ the way up, of course. She could tell.

She managed to ignore it, for the most part, leaning closer to Starfire’s bedside and taking her hand once more.

She felt just as cold as Raven did, and if not for the heart monitor steadily beeping away Raven may have been a good deal more concerned than she currently was about Starfire’s health.

Not that she wasn’t already unhealthily worried for her.

She could feel her heart racing, thudding against her chest in a desperate bid to burst out and, potentially, tapdance on her early grave. She was doing the absolute best she could to stay calm, but her body wasn’t quite getting the memo. She wished she could meditate here, but… She couldn’t trust this place like that. This wasn’t the tower. She had no way of knowing for sure if it was safe.

And so she sat next to the bed, thumb tracing circles on the back of Star’s hand, for however long it took for Robin to return with a bag containing some of her clothes.

“I thought you might want something warmer than your bodysuit,” He uttered, voice soft and careful, “So I brought you some sweatpants and a hoodie to wear for now.”

“Thank you, Robin,” She sighed, accepting the bag gratefully. She wanted very much to change out of what she was wearing right that second, but her eyes gravitated back to Star and she found herself unable to make herself stand up.

A hand landed on her shoulder.

“Raven,” Robin said, “It’s alright. I’ll watch her while you change.”

She hesitated a moment longer, looking at her teammate, then slowly nodded and stood. With one last worried glance over her shoulder toward Star, she padded out of the room and asked for directions to the nearest bathroom so she could change. A nurse pointed her to it without question. He’d likely seen her enter earlier.

She pulled on the hoodie and sweats on autopilot, along with the tennis shoes Robin had brought her. All she could think the whole time was that this ordeal, this whole situation, it just…

It just didn’t feel real.

It just didn’t feel like it was really happening. It felt like a bad dream, and she hoped against hope that any moment now she would wake up leaned against her bookcase. She hoped that she would wake up, and stand from her spot with a few aches and pains. She hoped she’d stretch, carefully pop and massage the tensed areas, and pad her way across the room to the bed to find Star, safe and secure. Not injured. Not lying cold and clammy in a hospital bed.

Warm and safe and unharmed.

But she knew, deep down, that wasn’t going to happen. This was real. Starfire was in the hospital.

They didn’t know what was wrong with her, either. Not yet.

Raven exited the bathroom wringing her hands and hoping Star would wake up soon.

* * *

Telling the same story over and over to at least four different doctors and a pair of police officers didn’t make telling it any easier, despite what one may believe.

Once, Raven would have figured that repeating the same details several times would be easy and that it would, perhaps, help her work through the situation. Help things make a little more sense. Help her be more genuinely calm.

But it did none of those things.

If anything it only made her more likely to freak out, she was noticing.

Though it shouldn’t have been, it was some consolation that Robin wasn’t faring much better than she was. He’d also had to give his account of the events several times, to the same people, and he seemed to be just as ready as she was to scream. Or cry. It just depended on which emotion (anger or fear) won out first, really.

Knowing he was just as angry and afraid as she was helped.

What did not help was that, until they expressed who exactly they were, the cops were pretty much convinced there must have been foul play. That Starfire must have been pushed. Raven hadn’t been so angry in a long time. It was all she could do to take a deep breath, tell the two of them they were being completely ridiculous, and then add that they should really be careful making accusations to someone whose powers got out of control when she was stressed.

“Is that a threat?” One of them asked, rather snidely.

“No. It’s simply a warning.” Raven said flatly, “My girlfriend may be seriously injured and I’m already just barely keeping my emotions in check. I cannot guarantee your safety if you continue to insist I had something to do with this.”

Based on their expressions, she had not escaped suspicion at all, but they allowed her back into Star’s hospital room without any further questions. All she got were some glares and sneers.

When Robin rejoined her after they finished with him, he looked like he was a half-second away from breaking something.

Raven could relate.

He sat down next to her, huffed out a breath, and asked, “Have they told you anything yet?”

She shook her head, “No, not yet.”

He nodded to himself.

They sat there quietly for a long time, listening to the hustle and bustle outside of the room. Seemed like a busy day. Lots of people coming in. Raven could only hope that this was the only serious situation in the hospital, for the sake of all of the other people in the city. No one should have to be sitting next to the bed of a loved one, wondering if they were going to wake up.

Robin laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sure everything will be fine.” He said.

She nodded, but she really couldn’t bring herself to agree with the sentiment. She was always the most pessimistic member of the team. She always looked on the dark side of things instead of the light side. But usually Beast Boy or Star could balance her out―right now neither of them were able to change her mind or counter her. It was only Robin, and Robin… Well.

Robin was a realist, not an optimist. The chances of him being able to balance out her pessimism were unbelievably low.

“I’m serious,” Robin uttered firmly, hand squeezing on her shoulder in a comforting manner, “Star’s tough. She’ll pull through.”

“Yeah,” Raven agreed softly, but she just couldn’t bring herself to believe it.


	3. So, Doctor - Diagnosis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so, this has been a long time coming. I haven't had much time between packing, moving, and job-searching to post any commissions related stuff since the last update on this in December. But now, a big update is here!
> 
> Today, not only is this chapter going up, but the next chapter will be following shortly. I'm working on the next six chapters as we speak! If all goes well, the next three will be finished on or before the Fourth of July and will probably be going up as they are finished, and the last three will hopefully be finished within the next week or so. I can't make any promises, but I can certainly hope!

The first thing that Starfire was aware of was the sound of an air conditioning unit humming away somewhere above her head.

The next thing she was aware of was the sound of people speaking―quiet, indistinct, save for two voices that seemed louder. Familiar. After a moment she was able to identify their source. Raven and Robin. And just under their voices was a repetitive beeping sound.

Something like relief managed to melt its way through her groggy nerves.

But then something else occurred to her. Something that made that repetitive beeping grow more frantic, made her heartbeat pound in her ears.

_She couldn’t move._

She remembered not being able to move before, remembered that she’d been scared out of her wits. Something was _wrong,_ she couldn’t _move._

Raven’s voice broke her mind from the thoughts solely because of how close it suddenly was.

“Star,” The other uttered, “Star, it’s alright. Just breathe, okay? Breathe for me.”

So she tried, drawing in as deep a breath as she could and releasing it slowly. She felt Raven’s hand land in her hair, stroking gently, and took another slow breath as Raven cooed out approval and encouragement.

Another hand landed on her opposite shoulder, and Robin’s voice joined Raven’s, spurring her on.

Her breathing began to even out, and after a moment she was able to open her eyes and look upon her friend and girlfriend. Robin smiled at her. Raven gave the barest hints of a smile, herself.

“Good to see you awake,” Robin said, sitting back down in a chair at her side.

Raven left her side just long enough to grab the other chair and draw it closer, so that she was sitting by her head.

“It is… Nice to be awake,” Starfire said, somewhat hesitantly.

Her eyes flicked back to Raven, but her girlfriend merely took her hand and stroked over the skin with only slightly shaking fingers. She didn’t say a word. She didn’t meet her eyes.

Starfire recognized the look of her trying to stay calm.

She looked to Robin again instantly. “What… What happened?”

Robin cleared his throat, suddenly looking awkward. “Well,” He began, gaze moving to Raven, who didn’t meet his eyes either. He gave a soft sigh, meeting Star’s eyes again. “You broke your neck,” He explained, “The doctors say it should heal alright, but for now the injury has you paralyzed from the shoulders down.”

Starfire resisted the flood of panic that threatened to wash over her at the news―after all, the doctors said it should heal alright, right? So that meant she should be fine in the end. So she pushed the panic away, smiled, and said, “Oh, is that all?”

Raven choked on air at the response, ducking her head. _“Is that all?”_ She questioned when she could breathe properly again, looking and sounding more disbelieving than Star thought she’d ever been.

Rather than causing her girlfriend any further distress, Star gave her a sheepish grin and explained her thoughts, “Well, I only mean that if it should heal fine, then there is no reason to panic yet, is there?”

Disbelieving expression replaced by one of only mildly exasperated affection, Raven slowly shook her head. “I should have known you’d take it well.”

“You definitely took it better than I was expecting,” Robin admitted.

Star merely laughed.

Raven began to smile a bit more, leaning in to kiss her cheek while Robin relaxed into his chair for a moment.

“I should go get the doc,” He said after a moment, “Let him know she’s awake.”

“Should someone not have come when the machine beeped faster?” Star asked as he got up.

“Probably,” He admitted, “But it was only for a few seconds, so they probably guessed you were fine.”

She hummed.

He ducked out of the room.

Starfire’s eyes were drawn back to Raven, who uncharacteristically seemed more interested in staring at Star’s hand in hers. She was still tracing over the skin with her fingers, which made Star think that not feeling it was truly an odd (and not wholly welcome) sensation. She could _see_ Raven touching her, but could not feel it, and frankly? It was a little scary.

“Raven?” She asked, breaking the silence.

Lavender eyes snapped to hers instantly, “Yeah?”

“It is going to be alright,” She told her, “I’m sure of it.”

Raven’s lips twitched a bit, and she nodded a little. “Yeah.” She agreed softly.

And things were quiet between them as Raven seemed to sink back into her thoughts and Star chose to simply wait for the doctor and Robin in silence. She knew that Raven probably needed some time to process all of this―she knew _she_ did, after all. She _really_ did. But she could do that later, after she found out what _exactly_ was wrong and how long it would take to get back on her feet.

“How long was I out?” She found herself asking, nonetheless, as the question occurred to her and promptly refused to leave her alone until she had voiced it.

“About a week,” Raven informed her, “We were starting to get worried, frankly.”

Star nodded, internally thanked whatever deities there were that she _could_ nod, and went back to her silence.

* * *

“―was primarily to your C4 and C5 vertebrae, which has led to your paralysis,” The doctor was explaining, and Star was doing her very best to pay attention, even if a lot of the information was going over her head. “It is a fairly serious injury, I must tell you. With physical therapy and time to heal, you may gain full range of movement again, or you may not. It’s still too early to tell if you’ll make a full recovery or not―although your friends tell me you’re very determined.”

“I think, perhaps, that determined may be an understatement,” Star told him, just a little too proud of the fact, “I have been told I am very hardheaded.”

The doctor laughed. “Well, that’s the type of spirit you need when this sort of thing happens.” He told her. “We’ll do a few tests today to check on the healing process and the wound itself, and tomorrow I believe we’ll start on some simple therapies, if you think you’re up for it.”

“I am very confident that I can handle the simple therapies.” Starfire confirmed.

“Then I have little doubt that you’ll soon make a full recovery.” He said, “But do keep the other possibilities in mind―sometimes there’s nothing to be done.”

That fact hit her harder than she liked, but she nodded nonetheless. “Yes. It is important to think of those possibilities.” She admitted. She didn’t _like_ to think of them, would prefer to set her mind on the most favorable possibility, but being realistic would probably be an asset to her here.

The doctor smiled at her, “Now, I have a few questions to ask you while I’m here, and the police will be by shortly to confirm the story your friends gave them.”

Though troubled by the prospect the police hadn’t believed her friends, she nodded again, “Alright. Ask away!”

* * *

“So you really think the therapy is going to help?” Raven asked, fingers working into the muscles of Starfire’s shoulders and easing up the tension that Starfire hadn’t been aware of.

She could feel Raven’s fingers pressing in, feel the odd sensation of her muscles going lax despite not having control of them.

“I think so,” She confirmed, trying to meet Raven’s eyes in the reflective surface of one of the machines, but Raven was focused on her shoulders. “I think it might take some time, but I think it will work!”

Raven nodded a bit, hands moving down to her shoulder blades. For now, she refused to touch her neck, not wanting to possibly exacerbate the injury, so her shoulders were receiving the majority of her attention. “And what does the doctor think?”

“He has told me to keep my mind open to other possibilities because the injury is severe,” Starfire explained, “But he thinks that I may be able to recover fully.”

“Well, that’s better than him not having any faith in the idea you’ll recover,” Raven commented under her breath, then, louder, “I’ll do what I can to help you through it, okay? I won’t let you do this alone.”

Starfire felt her lips pulling into a grin at that. Against her better judgement, she turned her head a bit to direct her smile at Raven, who glanced up when she turned. After a second (and an almost paranoid glance around the room), Raven returned her smile and leaned forward to plant a small kiss on the tip of her nose, making her giggle. Her smile widened, and Starfire’s did as well as she turned back toward the rest of the room, allowing Raven to continue her massage.

“I truly appreciate it, Rae.” She told her softly, “It is nice to know I will have you to help me. It makes me doubly sure that I can do this.”

In the reflection, she saw Raven’s expression turn affectionate.

A few moments passed during which Raven went back over the areas she had already massaged, this time with some of her power lingering on her fingers, which was an odd sensation to Star. The feeling of Raven’s powers had become a familiar one in the time they’d known each other, but feeling it flow directly into her skin and muscles was… Unique, if nothing else.

Not entirely unpleasant, though.

Raven’s magic-charged fingers skated up the back of her neck gently, and Star could only track the movement by the feeling of the magic. Some tight muscle there untensed just a bit, though there was the slightest hint of pain when the magic touched on the part of her neck where the injury resided.

“Raven?” She asked when Raven had resumed simply rubbing over her shoulders with her magic.

“Yeah?” Raven asked in return, obviously focused very heavily on her task.

“Do _you_ think the therapy will work?”

Raven was quiet a moment, and Starfire was tempted to believe she’d simply gotten caught up in what she was doing and forgotten to reply. That would have been fine―she could ask her again later, when she wasn’t distracted.

But then Raven took a breath, hands pausing. “I don’t know,” She admitted, “I _want_ to think that it will, but I… You know I’m not quite so optimistic, Star.”

Star nodded her acceptance of that answer―that was about the answer she’d expected, and luckily it didn’t put her off as much as she’d worried it would… She supposed part of that was due to Raven’s addition that she _wanted_ to think it would help her.

She expected that to be that―Raven wouldn’t have anything else to say and they’d go back to the only _slightly_ uncomfortable silence they’d shared before while Raven finished off her massage.

But then Raven began to speak again, “What I _do_ know,” She said, voice more firm, “Is that no matter whether it works or not, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I will be at your side no matter what. Paralyzed or able-bodied, you’re my girlfriend and I love you to pieces. I refuse to abandon you.”

Star felt tears sting her eyes, but she was smiling anyway.

“Thank you,” She said, voice just a little choked.

That was okay.

Raven deserved to know she appreciated that.

“But of course, my Star.” Raven leaned forward, brushing her lips against her ear, then her cheek, and she was smiling too.

 _Yes,_ Starfire thought, _things are going to be alright._

And they sat in silence while Raven finished her massage, and then Raven helped her out of her wheelchair and back into the hospital bed. And she held her hand while Star tried to get some rest in preparation for tomorrow’s therapy.

After some time, Raven drew out a book and began to read to her quietly, like she used to in their room.

Star didn’t understand much of what was going on in the book, didn’t remember if Raven had read it to her before, but regardless she appreciated it as she relaxed against the pillow and began to drift off.


	4. Uncertain

The first few days of therapy went about as well as one would have expected, with very little in the way of progress but even less in the way of determent for Starfire. She kept her spirits high and kept working, focusing on the idea of one day being able-bodied again.

She knew she could do it. It would be ridiculous to think that she couldn’t―she’d come back from a lot of terrible situations just fine, being a hero.

She kept the possibility open in her mind, of course, because that was reasonable and she knew Raven would probably have a few words for her if she didn’t at least keep it in her head that not being able to walk again was a possibility. But just because she kept it in her head didn’t mean she was paying a whole lot of attention to it.

She focused on the idea that all it would ever be was a possibility. Never the reality.

Each day of therapy closed with Raven giving her another of those massages, lots of kisses, and then reading to her while she tried to fall asleep. The sense of structure helped her more than she’d ever thought it would―but, then, she’d always done well with the way Robin set things up… And he was a stickler for routine.

* * *

The weeks wore on in much the same manner, after the first few days.

Every morning, Star woke up, ate breakfast with the assistance of one of the nurses, talked to her friends for a while in one of the waiting rooms, went to physical therapy, and made only very minimal progress.

Then she would eat lunch with Raven’s help, talk with her friends some more, and go back to her room where, early on, one of the nurses was teaching her how to use a mouthstick to use her phone, and there she’d scroll through social media for a while, getting back into the swing of things and making posts more and more often as she got better with the stick.

Then she’d eat dinner with the help of a nurse, Raven would give her a massage, they’d talk a while, and Raven would read to her until she fell asleep.

It was monotonous, and the amount of progress she was actually making toward being able-bodied again was frankly kind of disheartening. She knew it could take a lot of time, and that it wouldn’t be easy, but it was still… Shouldn’t she have seen some progress by now?

At just over three weeks, she expressed her fear to Raven, who was… Perhaps less understanding to an outside ear than to Star’s. But of course, Starfire knew what Raven meant when she said things that sounded detached or uncaring.

“I know it’s scary,” She said as she ran a brush through Star’s hair, pausing here and there to focus on specific spots when the brush caught and she flinched. “But losing hope now won’t get you anywhere, will it?”

“No…” She replied softly, seeing the point that Raven was making very easily. “But it is still slower than I would like.”

“Sometimes progress is slow.” Raven squeezed the shoulder she was holding in order to steady her, “That’s okay. You just have to give it time, and leave the worrying to Robin and me.”

Starfire couldn’t help laughing at that a little―of course that would be what Raven thought.

“What’s so funny?” Raven asked, and Star could  _ hear _ the raised brow.

“I was just thinking that I was being foolish,” Starfire told her, “For thinking you would let me lose hope so soon.”

Raven laughed a little in reply, pausing in her endeavor in order to muffle the sound with the back of her hand. Starfire grinned to herself at the noise, heart fluttering in her chest. It was so nice to hear Raven express amusement like that, considering how careful she had to be with her emotions in order to keep her powers under control. It was rare and beautiful―music to her ears.

“I will just have to try harder tomorrow,” She said, after Raven had resumed brushing, “Really give to it my all.”

“I believe in you,” Raven encouraged, a smile still in her voice.

* * *

Despite her newfound conviction, Starfire’s recovery didn’t seem to be moving along any faster after that.

In fact, she almost felt that it was going slower, if such a thing was possible.

Days wore on into more weeks. The swelling around her wound faded and disappeared. The doctors and nurses talked and talked, to her and about her. Her friends visited each day, her girlfriend was by her side by dinner every night. The world went on as always, and she watched the news for each report of a busted baddie. Each report led to talk of her absence from the team.

She turned off the news when the speculations began.

She always turned it back on.

(Could she just take a second to say it was  _ really _ hard to use the remote until one of the nurses thought to put it in a phone-stand that was attached to her bed on the opposite side her actual phone was on? Because it was. Thankfully the mouthstick made it easier, and if necessary she could just use her nose to press the mute button.)

The physical therapist was beginning to get concerned, and to be quite frank? So was she.

She could tell Raven was as well, even if she didn’t show it outwardly.

The others tried to make light of it, tried to keep conversation away from it and treat her like normal. She appreciated it, to some degree, but sometimes she just wished they’d maybe think about the possibility she wasn’t going to get better.

It felt hypocritical, of course. She tried to look on the bright side of the whole ordeal, but here she was wishing that they  _ wouldn’t. _ But just this once, you know? Just long enough to acknowledge the possibility. Just long enough to think how scary that was for her. Moving around, jumping, hugging everyone―those were the staples of her very  _ life. _ And now she couldn’t do that. She was potentially facing a future where she could never do any of it ever again.

She could  _ be _ hugged. To some extent she could still use her power to lift herself off the ground.

But it wasn’t much. Just enough to take some of the weight off of the nurses’ hands when they transferred her between the bed and her wheelchair. She couldn’t fly anymore. She didn’t have access to the unbridled joy she had to feel to trigger the ability―only to the lesser forms of the emotion. Feelings not as strong.

She hated it, and that made even lifting herself slightly off the ground even harder for her.

Not to mention that even if she  _ did _ have access to that level of joy right now, she couldn’t really control the course of her flight. Not easily, at least.

* * *

She began to resent herself for that day at the beach.

* * *

“Robin,” She said, turning her head to gaze at him where he was quietly checking over her hospital room in that mildly paranoid but caring way he did every other day or so for the entire time she’d been here. “May I ask you something?”

He paused, glancing at her and arching a brow―a motion that was, amusingly, still just as effective and obvious when he was wearing his domino mask. “Go for it,” He told her, straightening up and turning his body to face her as well so that she knew she had his full attention.

She smiled a little, but it was short lived. “I have already asked Raven, but… Do you think that I am going to be able to walk again? Do you think that the physical therapy will help?” She wanted to continue, to tell him she was growing concerned, that even the  _ physical therapist _ was concerned, but she bit her tongue. She didn’t need to dump that on him. She didn’t want to burden him.

All she wanted was a simple answer.

He stared at her for a moment, silent, then took in a slow breath and approached her, laying a hand on her shoulder. She felt the pressure of his touch, but not much else.

That was still more than she’d felt at first, though, so she counted it as one of those “little victories” the therapist kept talking about.

“Star,” He said after a moment during which, most likely, he’d searched for the right words to say. “I think… I think that it  _ might _ help. It might not help in the way you want, or it may feel like it’s not doing anything at all, but I think that it might nonetheless. I know it’s been a long time already and all signs seem to point to not much happening, but I… Well. You’ve been responding to touch, and I know that’s not exactly a result of therapy so much as the wound healing, but it’s something. Something that might not have happened if you weren’t approaching this with such a strong feeling that you’ll get better. Something that might not have happened if you hadn’t been so sure the therapy would help you.” He patted her shoulder, giving her a smile, “You’ve just gotta keep your head up, you know? It’s been proven that people who are certain they’ll get better are more likely to do so.”

She slowly nodded a little, thinking on that. Most of the recovery she’d done―gaining back more sensation in the areas below her shoulders, being able to turn her head without pain, even shrugging once―had happened when she was unswayed in the thought she was going to recover. But once she’d started to get discouraged, her recovery hadn’t really slowed down, per se, but it had gotten more difficult to see progress.

“That does make sense.” She finally said.

He squeezed her shoulder, “Just… Try to keep your eyes on the future, yeah? Even if it’s not a future you want, necessarily, keeping set on it might help. Work for what you’re expecting, you know?”

Another small smile was given, and she was able to return it without feeling as if she was lying.

It wasn’t the advice she’d have wanted at the beginning―being told that she might need to start looking forward to one of the futures she was less than thrilled by the prospect of would have done little else than discourage her from trying at all. But at this point, after she’d spent so long trying, she guessed it was just nice to hear someone tell her that it was okay to settle for the next best possible future. That, if she didn’t want to keep pushing so hard, didn’t want to keep accidentally dropping herself into a dark pit of sadness, she could take a step back and focus on something that wouldn’t take as much work.

She appreciated it a lot that he’d been honest, and doubly so she appreciated that his advice wasn’t impossible.

He wasn’t telling her to give up, but he  _ also _ wasn’t feeding into the internal pressure she felt to regain the ability to walk. He was telling her to do what she felt she was capable of, at this point.

He was staying hopeful for her, even if he was hopeful for less than she was. Even if he was hopeful for the more realistic option.

“Robin,” She said again, as he moved back toward the area he’d been obsessively checking over.

He looked at her, brow lifting again.

She smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

His lips pulled into another smile, larger than the ones that had come before it. “Any time, Star.” He said, “I’m here for you, you know?”

Her smile lingered a moment. Then, as he looked away, she let it fade a bit and looked to her phone, placed in a stand on the arm of the wheelchair. Grabbing her mouthstick from where she’d dropped it earlier, she went through the motions of opening up social media.

The post she made was less excitable than the ones from before, but no less hopeful for it. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to walk again―but the possibility no longer terrified her completely. It might happen. But she was… Well, she wasn’t  _ okay _ with it, but if it came to that she was sure she could get through it just like everything else.

She was strong, right?

She could do this.

Her post had nearly five thousand likes within the first two minutes of being visible, and she guessed that was probably largely due to the fact that she’d accepted the possibility fully at last. Before, she’d only alluded to it, tried not to focus on it, much like how her friends tried not to talk about it around her.

But, it was time to face the facts and accept things the way they were.

Not being able to walk again was a very real possibility… And she was finally ready to admit that.

But that didn’t mean she was going to give up―not by a long shot. She had every intention of keeping on the way she had, if a little less intensely. She could do this. Whatever happened… Happened. And that was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! While I've gotcha here, if you have any money to spare, please consider commissioning a writing project from me. 1K-3K oneshots go for $5 USD and 2-5 chapter works go for $10 USD, cost increases by $2 USD per every thousand words or single chapter. For more in-depth info, please visit [this page](fusion-ego.tumblr.com/cm). The link leads to one of my side-blog, so be warned. And if you can't commission me it's alright!


End file.
